Seizure

I’ve been dancing forever
Spinning, spinning in circles
My mind turning, churning
Drawn ever closer to the flame, the fire burning ever more bright
Can’t you see, see the light
It’s heavy, heady in my eye
But I, I only got one night
I want to slow down, this ride, it just won’t end
I’m going to puke, pull over at the bend
Strobe lights flashing, ebbing flow
Yellow haze, blackness, people go
I awake later in a daze
Back to normal but in a fright.

Domestic Violence

SAD

Too many disappointments have been reaped from a sorrow-filled life…

Too many tears I have shed, for a man who called me his wife.

Often I wonder what all this is for,

Why is this load so heavy to bear?

Why am I trying so hard?

It doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

Although I have come a long way,

From the misery of before,

Still I have to wonder,

What am I here for?

 

PLEASE UNDERSTAND

Please understand:

It wasn’t just the bruises that hurt.

It was the shame,

It was and is the names.

I was sinking,

Still do sometimes…

So low.

I feel I cannot live carrying this knowledge… must relieve it, but…

I don’t know how…

I sink…

I cry, give my soul to all the world.

Few can understand my plight.

Or could back then, either…

No one can fathom…

My psychology…

How helpless I felt .

I could not emotionally survive without him…

I could not save myself…

I turned on myself…

Blamed myself.

Excused him…

At times, how I loved him! Oh it was higher than the sky!

How I hated him, at others…

Then, confusion…

Then,

Vengeful…

Most of all,

Feeling, once more,

self-blame,

at the same time,

as Hate.

A cycle.

 

Isolation

What I wouldn’t give for a smile
An open door, a gentle touch
Some pretty flowers, stay awhile
The coldness, isolation
Gravity of situation
Distant stars, no sound
Cold trees, no wind
Walls closing in all around
Unconditional love is lacking
Sanity begins slacking
Phone rings, neighbors stare
No conversation, so unfair
Dark rushes in
So the wait begins…