Marijuana IS Harmful

Sorry to veer off topic from what I usually post. I wanted  to write this in response to all the attention marijuana is getting in the media lately due to the legalization of sales in Colorado and Washington as well as President Obama’s statement that it is not seriously harmful. I disagree. I have personally witnessed and had experiences within my own life to believe differently. I began smoking marijuana at age 13 and was quite the ‘pothead’ until age 17. It was the first drug I ever tried and led to my being exposed to kids who did other drugs and alcohol. While I never did get into other drugs really extensively, I became an alcoholic later in life. I had always been a high achiever in school but soon that changed as well. I would fall asleep in class and fall asleep while doing my homework. My comprehension of assignments was altered. I began missing my bus in the mornings and getting to school late. The crowd I hung with changed, I started to skip school and get high all day within a couple years of smoking pot. I realized too late what was happening with school and tried to go back into the swing of things but I just couldn’t do it. I stopped eating regularly because I was running away from home all the time to be with my boyfriend, and I would pass out while high. My doctors thought I was having seizures but later I found out I had a blood sugar problem. All the while, we were going to parties and binge drinking on the weekends. When I was still only 14, I drank so much liquor (while high) I had alcohol poisoning and could have died, but fortunately my mom took me to the hospital. I was sick for two weeks and couldn’t eat a thing.

At age 17, due to my fainting spells which we all thought were seizures I quit smoking pot. I still smoked cigarettes and drank, on occasion, but I was much more clear-headed for years until my drinking took over my life many years later. I now have 5 years sober and much more clarity.

I met a man who ran one of the NA meetings I used to attend when I first got sober. He was a marijuana addict who had gotten busted and it ruined his life. It had taken over his life- pot was everything to him and when he’d  hit bottom he’d lost everything. People who go to NA go there for every kind of drug, including pot.

Pot affects people who are mentally ill with negative consequences. I am talking about those who suffer from schizophrenia and schizo-effective disorder, to name a couple. They get addicted to it, self-medicate with it and when they do not have it or cannot get it, they can get very violent and or depressed. I have experienced this first hand and also know of others who have. To self-medicate doesn’t sound very bad until you consider the fact that doing so has negative consequences, such as the mentally ill person having a fit and beating someone up, then having to answer for it in a court of law and being put in jail or a mental hospital, or put on probation, where they then have to be medication compliant or they’ll land in prison or jail.

Marijuana is also very dangerous when someone smokes and drives. I never got behind the wheel. I know others who didn’t think twice and didn’t consider it dangerous at all. Any mind altering drug should be considered dangerous.

The very act of smoking this drug is bad for health. People get all worked up about people who smoke cigarettes, well, get worked up about marijuana because if smoked it can cause bad health too- ask any pulmonologist and they will tell you it is bad for your lungs. It may not have additives like cigarettes, but anything that is burned and inhaled is not good for you.

If made legal, this drug should be classified as a schedule 2 controlled substance. Personally, I would never take it for pain; I would focus more on the pain instead of less. I don’t like any substance that makes me ‘high.’ I argue with my pain management doctor about putting me on things that are controlled. But for people who are cancer patients who are undergoing chemo and the like, I could see a use for it. I think in Hawaii it is over-prescribed, but that is my personal opinion and may not be true.

Do I ever miss it? Sure. Would I ever use it again? I doubt it.

I believe that it should be approached with extreme caution and no one should ever forget that first and foremost, natural or not, this is a drug. It can and will be abused by many. The addiction gene is out there among us and being an addict is not about choice necessarily but about whether or not that gene is triggered.  All it takes is for the right person to pick up a drug and become addicted. President Obama was irresponsible in saying this drug isn’t harmful because it can become much more than a bad habit. Just because it never became more than a ‘habit’ for him doesn’t mean it won’t for others. That is not to say that others will not be responsible and reasonable, but we have to look at risk management. I do not want my daughter, who is 13, to think that marijuana is ‘ok’ because Obama said it wasn’t harmful and because two of our states have legalized it. We can joke about this issue and poke fun about the Super “Bowl” all we want, but would you want your child to become a drug addict? I’ve been there. So has my son. No, definitely not FUN.


Jesus the Promise

The Father said to Son
It is time, we must take action
For if we wait, more will be lost.
I am aggrieved, too high will be the cost.
So it was that Jesus, Light of the World,
Born of a virgin, his story unfurled.
Yeshua HaMashiach.
Through teachings and healings people were in awe,
yet there were others who didn’t like it, Jesus foresaw.
The most important things Jesus taught about was LOVE.
And what waited for us in Heaven up above.
He also told people about mercy, kindness and sharing.
Performed miracles and people learned about caring.
When Jesus was ready, he let the authorities take him,
His disciples wept, feeling grim.
It was for the sin of the world Jesus must die.
That whomever believed in Him, payment of sin did not apply.
In Judea, Jesus was crucified,
But three days later, rose again, disciples mystified.
He gave us all the Holy Spirit and a Mission.
Go into all the earth and spread my word.
And a promise: I will come again soon.

Catherine & Henry

Oh Catherine, Duty commands, to England
Ye shall be a Queen
In this foreign land
Marry, she did, Arthur, a prince
A sad story, this
For he soon died, her a widow, unfortunate consequence.
Stranger in a foreign land
Young Henry looked upon her
Glorious! New King & Queen crowned
They had everything
Love, youth, with the Church they were bound.
Grief soon laid them low
They still had Mary though.
Over 20 years had gone by, yet England had no prince.
Catherine ignored the women, the talk
Henry’s heart had changed since.
The Lady Anne had come into his eyes
Separate from Rome!
I care not if my soul dies!
In isolation and poverty
Catherine separated from her love,
Writes ‘mine eyes long for thee,’
To the Church and for her daughter she was true
Heartbroken she died without Henry
For his love he did discontinue.


What I wouldn’t give for a smile
An open door, a gentle touch
Some pretty flowers, stay awhile
The coldness, isolation
Gravity of situation
Distant stars, no sound
Cold trees, no wind
Walls closing in all around
Unconditional love is lacking
Sanity begins slacking
Phone rings, neighbors stare
No conversation, so unfair
Dark rushes in
So the wait begins…




Oh I’m just sick of it, I just can’t stand another,
If you come to me in my dreams once more I feel I’ll smother.
With your loving smile, sweet blue eyes,
Deceptive guile and little lies.
I wake with longing or with dread,
How long my heart has bled.
Ten years I have spent alone,
to the wolves I have been thrown.
The ache, the sadness, never feeling complete,
Neglected, cast out, I have been beat.
My heart longs for what it never truly possessed,
When I pondered on my future this I never would have guessed.
I am unable to love anyone else in this manner, a defect.
Why this is so, why can’t I connect?
I feel this will be my life evermore,
Isolated, alone, dreaming of before.

The Crack in My Heart

Ever Since I heard those words
You were Gone,
there has been a crack in my heart.
We were, too long
too far,
Since we were children,
I held your hand,
you were my best friend.
Sharing secrets, clothes,
playing games,
through the fields we wend.
As teens we went different ways…
It often happens,
Yet still love stays.
Ma soeur, la jumelle, la famille,

(My sister, my twin, my family)
Precious is your memory,
Je vous remercie de nous avoir donné le don de vos filles!

* For my sister, Joni, who passed away in August, 2012 at the age of 41. She is greatly missed.